Taras Shevchenko: Ukrainian poet & artist (1814-1861)

Do not envy a rich man,
A rich man shall not know
neither sympathy nor love -
These are rented to him.
Do not envy a powerful one,
All he has is gotten by force.
Do not envy a man in glory,
A glorious one knows all too well
that he is loved not for himself,
but for that hard glory of his
that he poured forth
with his tears
for everyone's amusement.
Look at the young ones,
in love and at peace,
as in Eden, - look closely:
Evil stirs not far behind.
Look around yourself,
There is no paradise here,
And in heaven there is none.



1846

Translation: Roman Turovsky-Savchuk 03/10/2008

Banner change #2 to #3

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This photo was taken in Karlstad, Sweden. In the three weeks I was there during April, I experienced nearly 4 seasons: it was -2C and snowing when I arrived (which was when this photo was taken), and on the final day it was sunny, warm, and around +17C!

Katatonia: My Twin & Deliberation

Katatonia

My Twin

The neck and then the chain
The head is hung in shame
I thought that you had grown
That you would carry on
But now that I am gone
What else has been withdrawn

You used to be like my twin
And all that's been
Was it all for nothing
Are you strong when you're with him
The one that's placed you above us all

I think of love
I let it pass
It feels like fire
But it won't last

What is it coming to
I am unwilling to go on
You have lost
No one has won

--

I love this band. They've consistently grown and improved with each album. Understated with no flashy or overt technical flourishes; instead just pathos and feeling. I've always been able to very readily connect with the emotional states generated by their music.

Another one by them:

Deliberation

Visions come, visions come, in a sick room bed
There's something left to learn
Pass them on, let it show
Let the rich meet death
Confront our own concern

See us sleep behind the glass unaware of crime
Will you wake us up before it is time

Dueling circles, holds the only light
Break down my perspective
Notify everyone when the time is right
My mouth remains inactive

See us sleep behind the glass unaware of crime
Will you wake us up before it is time

So when you let me in
Let me justify
My own rewards
You put your hands on me
Now I learn the words
I didnt know before

I am ice, I am clear
Let the world be cold
Our deliberation
Pass them on, let it show
Let the words come slow
Your constant incantation

See us sleep behind the glass unaware of crime
Will you wake us up before it is time

Repeating cycle
Of light, no light
There's nothing in the air space
There's no one in the air space
Repeating cycle
Of love, no love

Who? Has it been there all along?

Apologies for the lack of any recent posts, blog readers (if there are any of you left out there given my slack attention to this blog of late!).

Life has been challenging and difficult recently - though not because of any obvious external stimuli. It has been informing, however, and as always, a learning experience. I've been reflecting on various developments - or perhaps, rather, non-developments. Life is a gradual process of coming to understand one's own psyche.

There is an illusory self-confidence - or certainly, in my case, this is how I now consider it to be - where in your young adulthood (i.e. somewhere typically 18-22) you start to believe you really "know" yourself. Yet, in my case, the last few years have seen me come to an awareness of many undercurrents and aspects of my psyche I didn't really explicitly recognise before. More pertinently, I have started to become much more aware of how it affects my interpersonal relationships, or more precisely, potential for interpersonal relationships.

I think of myself of consisting of a mixture of various splintered strands, totally different aspects, somewhat rather contradictory; the question is how do they resolve themselves into one homogenous, unitary, singular entity, an "I". Or perhaps I should simply accept the discontiguous strands; utilise them - "put on different hats"[0].

It is therefore not surprising that many great philosophers and pyschologists have strongly questioned whether a real "I" actually even exists (Kant, for example, was one who didn't).

Anyway; disappointment. That is my primary life feeling if I was to characterise this phase in my life - it is pervasive.

-

Over the last couple of months I have had one wonderful development. I am extraordinarily lucky to have met an immensely skilled Tai Chi practitioner who with tremendous generosity and infinite patience is teaching me this ancient art. It is extremely difficult but I believe I am making steady progress.

Taichiquan has become a stabilising locii for me - every second learning this martial art is repaid hugely; this I already know from my limited experience with it. I know extremely little, as yet, but already feel that it is having a significant transformative effect. Mind and body, physical and mental, rationalism and intution are not artificially divided in the East as they are over here. Tai Chi is an example of this. It is a powerful system of health and wellness. It promotes flexibility. It modifies energetic and metabolic systems. It is an extremely potent martial art (when mastered). It is a meditative activity. It encompasses philosophy, especially Taoism. It is an externalisation of many internal concepts; it is an internalisation of an apparently external physical activity.

-

So; more to come. I will post much more substantially when I have had more time to rationalise the set of developments over the last couple of months.

[0] A reference to some of Edward De Bono's theories on knowledge and self-management.

As dust through my fingers

And so, yes, I have not written anything recently on this blog. In truth I have been suffering a profound lack of energy, so much so that writing anything here has seemed like too much effort. Even believing in change (for the better) seems like an enormous effort at the moment. Instead, I feel like I live a life in stasis, one where I lack the willpower and belief to ever change anything.

Each summer, just like the last.

Unfulfilled.

Tea Post #2: The Collection

Sometimes, as the saying goes, a picture, or, as in this case, pictures can say a thousand words. This is my current tea collection. So, as you can see, I am indeed a mad tea drinking Englishman.

These pictures represent the current full inventory of my tea, but only shows a small portion of my tea ware. The vast majority of my tea pots and special tea cups are all currently in storage, since I don't have room for them in my current rather crappy small place. Notable tea pots in my possession include a couple of all glass tea pots which are ideal for "flowering" teas (teas which are skilfully bound such that they open out to form a flower as they infuse in the water), a genuine Chinese Yixing (Yisha clay) teapot, and a Japanese cast iron teapot (tetsubin).

In this picture, amongst other things, you can see a Chinese Gong-fu clay teaware set which I recently bought whilst on holiday in Sweden[1] (I bought it from the rather splendid Tea Centre of Stockholm) consisting of a gaiwan, water jug, six small cups, all resting on a water tray. You can also see a Japanese matcha bowl (bought from a tea shop in Tokyo) with a bamboo whisk and spoon, along with a small tin of high grade matcha tea. It also shows a rather lovely green teapot which I picked up in a second hand shop in Sweden for the equivalent of just a few pounds!

The last picture shows a couple of my tea measures (a tea measure is roughly equivalent to a generously heaped tea spoon) along with a white gaiwan, a tea ball, and a couple of strainers.

As you can probably imagine, I quite literally have a small chest of drawers dedicated exclusively to storing all these teas!

Here is the current inventory of teas. Where I know and can remember, I've linked to the company who supplied the particular tea, the country of origin (except for blends which consist of multiple teas), and where appropriate the estate that produced the tea. I purchased quite a lot of tea whilst visiting Japan in May 2007, and obviously since I can't read Japanese I cannot decipher the labels! I simply know what types of tea I bought. So that is why there is little information for a number of the green teas.

Technically speaking, only drinks containing an infusion from Camellia sinensis leaves should be called tea; other types of drink commonly called teas such as herbal infusions like Chamomile, Redbush or Lapacho or the hot brightly coloured cordial drinks popularly sold in Turkey should not be called tea. Rather, such alternative infusions are properly known as a Tisane.


Key:

R = Ronnefeldt
C = Covent Garden Tea Centre
W = Whittard of Chelsea
B = Robert Wilson Ceylon Teas
K = Kränku Tea & Coffee
N = Nothing But Tea
L = Lipton Teas
T = Taylors of Harrogate
S = Tea Centre of Stockholm
D = Drury Tea & Coffee Company
O = Kobbs Tea
G = Twinings Tea
P = Clipper

M = Morrisons Supermarket

Black tea

• Himalayan TGFOP (R, Nepal)
• Darjeeling FTGFOP First Flush (R, India, Nurbong Estate)
• Covent Garden Tea Centre Superior Darjeeling (C, India)
• Assam TGFOP (R, India, Bukhail Estate)
• Nilgiri (W, India)
• Lovers Leap FBOP (B, Sri Lanka, Mahagastota)
• Brunswick BOP (B, Sri Lanka, Maskeliya)
• Uva Light FP (B, Sri Lanka, Uva)
• Western New Season BOP (B, Sri Lanka)
• Kränku Kora Kundah (K)
• Mayan Gold (N)
• Yunnan FOP (R, China)
• Lipton Ceylon Tea (L, Sri Lanka)

Black blended/flavoured tea

• Morrisons "The Best" English Breakfast (M)
• Taylors of Harrogate Irish Breakfast (T)
• Taylors of Harrogate English Breakfast (T)
• Taylors of Harrogate China Rose Petal (T)
• Tea Centre of Stockholm Söderblandning (S)
• Tea Centre of Stockholm Earl Grey Special (S)
• Tea Center of Stockholm Tea Centre Blend (S)
• Whittard Of Chelsea English Breakfast (W)
• Drury Tea Company Imperial Afternoon (D)
• Kränku Kalkstensdrömmar (K)
• Kränku Munkte (K)
• Kränku Borgablandning (K)
• Kränku Tillfalig Teblanding (K)
• Kränku Jubileumsblandning (K)
• Kränku Fläderblom (K)
• Kränku Visby Varldsarvte (K)
• Kränku Earl Grey blå blom (K)
• Kränku Earl Grey Cream (K)
• Covent Garden Tea House Choco Truffle (C)
• Lipton Indian Spice (L)
• Lipton Russian Earl Grey (L)
• Kobbs Lingonlantan (O)
• Twinings Irish Breakfast Tea (G)
• Twinings Lady Grey Tea (G)
• Snostjana (?)

Green tea

• Chinese green tea (?)
• Bancha (?, Japan)
• Kukicha (C, Japan)
• Gyokuro (?, Japan)
• Gyokuro (?, Japan)
• Gyokuro (?, Japan)
• Matcha 1st Grade (?, Japan)
• Sencha (?, Japan)
• Gu Zhang Mao Jian (R, China)
• Clipper Organic Green Tea (P, China)
• Dragon Well (Lung Ching) (D, China)
• Imperial Gunpowder (T, China)

Green blended/flavoured tea

• Green Lemon (R, Japan)
• Morning Dew (R, Japan
• Genmaicha (W, Japan)

Oolong tea

• Formosa Oolong (C, Taiwan)
• Ti Kuan Yin (N, Taiwan)
• Black Dragon (N, Taiwan)

White tea

• Pai Mu Tan (R, China)
• Silver Needle Yin Zhen (N, China)
• Georgian Old Lady (N, Georgia)
• Georgian Old Gentleman (N, Georgia)

Pu-erh (red) tea

• Pu-erh PS (R, China)
• Pu-erh Mini Toucha (C, China)

Artisan/flowering tea

• Jade Column (N, China)
• Silvery Strawberry (N, China)

Tisanes

• Rooibos Earl Grey (K, South Africa)
• Rooibos Sea Buckthorn (N, South Africa)
• Honeybush (N, South Africa)
• Lapacho (N, South America)
• Rooibos Vanilla Bourbon (C, South Africa)

So, technically speaking, at this precise moment in time I have about 64 teas and 5 tisanes in total! Obviously this number goes up and down as I use up tea and replenish it! Generally speaking though, I'll always have well in excess of 50 types of tea available to drink in my collection.

What can I say? I like a good cup of tea :-)

[1] I have just been on holiday in Sweden for two and half weeks, hence the silence on this blog... Post, or posts, to follow, on my trip.

John Donne's "The Ecstasy"

The Ecstasy, by John Donne (1572-1631)

Where, like a pillow on a bed
         A pregnant bank swell'd up to rest
The violet's reclining head,
         Sat we two, one another's best.
Our hands were firmly cemented
         With a fast balm, which thence did spring;
Our eye-beams twisted, and did thread
         Our eyes upon one double string;
So to'intergraft our hands, as yet
         Was all the means to make us one,
And pictures in our eyes to get
         Was all our propagation.
As 'twixt two equal armies fate
         Suspends uncertain victory,
Our souls (which to advance their state
         Were gone out) hung 'twixt her and me.
And whilst our souls negotiate there,
         We like sepulchral statues lay;
All day, the same our postures were,
         And we said nothing, all the day.
If any, so by love refin'd
         That he soul's language understood,
And by good love were grown all mind,
         Within convenient distance stood,
He (though he knew not which soul spake,
         Because both meant, both spake the same)
Might thence a new concoction take
         And part far purer than he came.
This ecstasy doth unperplex,
         We said, and tell us what we love;
We see by this it was not sex,
         We see we saw not what did move;
But as all several souls contain
         Mixture of things, they know not what,
Love these mix'd souls doth mix again
         And makes both one, each this and that.
A single violet transplant,
         The strength, the colour, and the size,
(All which before was poor and scant)
         Redoubles still, and multiplies.
When love with one another so
         Interinanimates two souls,
That abler soul, which thence doth flow,
         Defects of loneliness controls.
We then, who are this new soul, know
         Of what we are compos'd and made,
For th' atomies of which we grow
         Are souls. whom no change can invade.
But oh alas, so long, so far,
         Our bodies why do we forbear?
They'are ours, though they'are not we; we are
         The intelligences, they the spheres.
We owe them thanks, because they thus
         Did us, to us, at first convey,
Yielded their senses' force to us,
         Nor are dross to us, but allay.
On man heaven's influence works not so,
         But that it first imprints the air;
So soul into the soul may flow,
            Though it to body first repair.
As our blood labors to beget
         Spirits, as like souls as it can,
Because such fingers need to knit
         That subtle knot which makes us man,
So must pure lovers' souls descend
         T' affections, and to faculties,
Which sense may reach and apprehend,
         Else a great prince in prison lies.
To'our bodies turn we then, that so
         Weak men on love reveal'd may look;
Love's mysteries in souls do grow,
         But yet the body is his book.
And if some lover, such as we,
         Have heard this dialogue of one,
Let him still mark us, he shall see
         Small change, when we'are to bodies gone.

--


I scarce think I have read much that more wonderfully captures the mysterious electric quality of romantic love between two people - how it amalgamates, harmoniously, across the three planes: physical, intellectual/emotional, spiritual.

Life is so peculiar: there is a certain disjointed quality about most deep human interactions, in that you attempt to create a bridge drawing upon the inherent shared human condition, but yet can never exactly connect. You strive to communicate that perfect common shared knowledge, but it has elements that are inherently uncommunicable through ordinary language: what is required is the faith that another person can, and indeed does, have that same unbounded existential awareness.

It is true that, as Deepak Chopra says, we fear the most what has already happened to us. By repeating the same script we cause events to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Writing a new script is difficult and requires courage, but is in principle, always possible, every day.

So, in essence, metaphysically, sometimes the truest communication between two people is the language shared by simply being, doing nothing, wrapped in each other's arms.

I am aware such talk sounds terribly sentimental, but it is sentimental by virtue of the fact that it is surely true!