Sometimes words don't come easily. Most especially when you're conscious of an almost overwhelming sense of negativity in your being. You want to write something enlightening, something interesting; but the effort of saying anything at all can almost seem too much.
But I suppose it is important to write something; expunge your emotional state. Even a torrent of vitriol is better than a wasteland of silence in the boundless theatre of the abyss. The abyss that lies at the root of being itself is perhaps something that most people have never even experienced.
Simple observations can prove quite illuminating. Take television viewing, for example. Broadly speaking, a certain type of person will mute the sound on the television when the program they are watching is interrupted by a commercial break. They are the sort of person that usually cherishes silence in at least some degree. There are other qualities and personality traits that are also endemic in this type of person that allow us to draw some broad characterisations. Of course any model that groups people into "types" is inherently simplistic and quite often incorrect; what does bear greater accuracy is one that recognises certain groupings of interrelated tendencies, homunculus's of personality quirks; in other words, certain types of norms.
It would be heartening to say that in what is virtually a year since the first posts on this blog, that great progress had been made personally; whether materially or spiritually. But such a progression can not be claimed; instead I am stuck, quite literally. Financial pressures mean that I have little space for manoeuvring for at least another year.
Perhaps this stasis is not entirely without benefit. For if anything, it has continued to increase my appreciation at the absolute spiritual emptiness of this modern world; I find myself gathering an immense wellspring of what can only be described as existential horror. This world of increasingly brief, endless fads and transient gimmicks; a world without any real substance. The side effect of making everything so convenient, so easy to digitally archive is to make everything increasingly disposable. This world of empty faceless "communications"; this world of Facebook, perhaps better described as Facelessbook - and it is not a matter of how many photos or otherwise are present. For example, it is reflected in the fact that you can build up a large list of "friends", and yet barely know most of these people, and certainly not genuinely have much in common with most of them. For as much as Facebook, and all these other social netwoendrking tools can in principle facilitate social contact, in practise they often achieve the opposite effect; a couple of empty sentences digitised and exchanged as a substitute for an authentic human interaction.
But social networking sites, the disposable nature of digitised information, the transience and rate of change; all of these are merely technological symptoms. They are merely neutral; it is how they are applied that determines whether or not they can be considered positive or negative factors.
Rather, the underlying malaise, the underlying cause is the very spiritual foundation of the modern world as a whole. On this, it is difficult to find anything to draw positively from. I am very "Evolian" in that I share his overriding belief that we are in our own Kali Yuga, an era of decline; I find it extraordinarily difficult to imagine that this trend will ever be reversed in my lifetime. So, I simply do my best to cope with this existence, and perhaps navigate towards a higher goal. Less idealistically, it is merely a struggle to simply plough on, week after week, month after month, merely paying the bills, keeping going.
Much as I enjoy the cultural benefits of living in a city, as time wears on, I increasingly look to escape - to somewhere sparsely populated, a beautiful wilderness, somewhere free from the endless empty vacuity of modernity. Perhaps that is the only way to have your proverbial cake and eat it; you take advantage of the benefits of technological developments of the modern world, but escape all the degeneration.
And yes, I'm one of those people that mute the TV.